Let me ask you a question..At what age did you start drinking? My adventure with this delicious yet deceiving thing started quite late, quite late because I did not have courage to drink. And the great irony of about it was, this very thing which I did not have courage to consume gave me courage (most of it unwanted) to do things I would not have done otherwise. Maybe that's why I for some unknown reason call it "liquid courage". I did not drink much till I was 21, an age where most of my friends were already miles ahead of me in the drinking game. Since then I have tried to make up for my late start and gained a lot of valuable but useless experience. This is the story about my experiences so far.
Before we go any further let me clarify that I am not an alcoholic. For me the sign of being an alcoholic is when you smell your water bottle to check whether its vodka or not. Also I do not have the time, money, stupidity, company and depression to be one. So I am a social drinker who these days isn't drinking much as I have moved to a new city and I do not have the company to drink with and since absence makes the heart grow fonder, I have started to appreciate the value of this "water of life" in my life.
In the last 8 years of my friendship with alcohol, I have tasted most of the drinks I could afford on my meager income and I have come to realize that various types have different but sort of similar effect on me. Beer makes me excited at start and by third mug I am slowly sinking into the numbness of my own mind. Whiskey is my favorite as it tastes good and I can only afford so much of it that it leaves me sober enough to walk back home but drunk enough to laugh at my own reflection in the mirror. I would pass vodka as it clearly doesn't suit me because I get too high too soon when I drink it. Tequila and Jägermeister for all their coolness in movies and thus in the minds of many people in actual life are used by a lot of people to validate their coolness in the eyes of others trying to appear cool themselves. Thus what starts with "Dude, just one shot!!" soon turns into "bllllaaarrrgggghhhhh!! Is that blood I am puking?" as you have lost the count of how many you have had.
In general alcohol turns me into an eloquent, clear thinking, intelligent being who can fathom the meaning of life, sing well, talk on matters like science, sport, love, and money with the expertise of an expert I guess. Though I have lingering doubts about what I say once I have gone past the stage of seeing one person as just one person.
I ask a lot of my friends about their alcohol related stories and what comes out is sometimes funny, sometimes pathetic, sometimes reckless and sometimes creepy. The only time I got so drunk that I had a story to tell was on my 27th birthday when I lived through 2 nights and one day of alcohol fueled stupidity. It all started with four guys getting together on a Saturday night to drink. We drank, we crashed a car, one guy passed out during the course of the night then we drank more for breakfast on Sunday, crashed the same car again, then one more guy dropped out then just the two of us who continued drinking till Monday when it was actually my birthday. I have dropped many details from the story but it was like the first "Hangover" movie minus the drugs, Mike Tyson and the tiger (we instead kidnapped a dog). Not proud of any of it and more importantly we returned the dog back to its home before anyone found out. Since then I confine my alcohol related activities within the boundaries of someone's home if not mine.
But this is nothing in comparison to some of the stories people I know tell me. I have heard people telling me how they ended up in some place when they had no recollection of how and why they went there, some falling head first into asphalt road, someone trying to feed a clay decorative frog some chillies and then breaking its legs because the poor animal didn't jump on his command, mistaking shampoo for mouthwash, stealing road signs and police cones. And all the time the reason was I was too drunk.
But after so many years of companionship alcohol and I have reached an uneasy truce where we do not misuse each others company. Earlier I would drink copious amounts of alcohol if I had a bad day or an argument with my exes (I was too much into movies back then). Now I have no such habits as I do not think about work once I am out of office and out of office I have no life. Lack of time and money makes it impossible for me to indulge in such things anymore. But once in a while I do get that itch to drink till I am talking nonsense but unfortunately I am at that awkward age where half the people I know are having babies and other half are too busy trying to find their phone to take a selfie. So my plans mostly remain in my head and when I do go out I tend to drink just enough to make me dance but sober enough to realize I am making a monkey of myself .
I am writing this while I am sober which to me is another of those ironies of life. But then, you only know the value of something when you let it go, thus realizing whether it was worth holding on to it all this while. Alcohol is certainly one of those things which I would miss and so I raise my imaginary glass to toast our friendship. Cheers!!
In the last 8 years of my friendship with alcohol, I have tasted most of the drinks I could afford on my meager income and I have come to realize that various types have different but sort of similar effect on me. Beer makes me excited at start and by third mug I am slowly sinking into the numbness of my own mind. Whiskey is my favorite as it tastes good and I can only afford so much of it that it leaves me sober enough to walk back home but drunk enough to laugh at my own reflection in the mirror. I would pass vodka as it clearly doesn't suit me because I get too high too soon when I drink it. Tequila and Jägermeister for all their coolness in movies and thus in the minds of many people in actual life are used by a lot of people to validate their coolness in the eyes of others trying to appear cool themselves. Thus what starts with "Dude, just one shot!!" soon turns into "bllllaaarrrgggghhhhh!! Is that blood I am puking?" as you have lost the count of how many you have had.
In general alcohol turns me into an eloquent, clear thinking, intelligent being who can fathom the meaning of life, sing well, talk on matters like science, sport, love, and money with the expertise of an expert I guess. Though I have lingering doubts about what I say once I have gone past the stage of seeing one person as just one person.
I ask a lot of my friends about their alcohol related stories and what comes out is sometimes funny, sometimes pathetic, sometimes reckless and sometimes creepy. The only time I got so drunk that I had a story to tell was on my 27th birthday when I lived through 2 nights and one day of alcohol fueled stupidity. It all started with four guys getting together on a Saturday night to drink. We drank, we crashed a car, one guy passed out during the course of the night then we drank more for breakfast on Sunday, crashed the same car again, then one more guy dropped out then just the two of us who continued drinking till Monday when it was actually my birthday. I have dropped many details from the story but it was like the first "Hangover" movie minus the drugs, Mike Tyson and the tiger (we instead kidnapped a dog). Not proud of any of it and more importantly we returned the dog back to its home before anyone found out. Since then I confine my alcohol related activities within the boundaries of someone's home if not mine.
But this is nothing in comparison to some of the stories people I know tell me. I have heard people telling me how they ended up in some place when they had no recollection of how and why they went there, some falling head first into asphalt road, someone trying to feed a clay decorative frog some chillies and then breaking its legs because the poor animal didn't jump on his command, mistaking shampoo for mouthwash, stealing road signs and police cones. And all the time the reason was I was too drunk.
But after so many years of companionship alcohol and I have reached an uneasy truce where we do not misuse each others company. Earlier I would drink copious amounts of alcohol if I had a bad day or an argument with my exes (I was too much into movies back then). Now I have no such habits as I do not think about work once I am out of office and out of office I have no life. Lack of time and money makes it impossible for me to indulge in such things anymore. But once in a while I do get that itch to drink till I am talking nonsense but unfortunately I am at that awkward age where half the people I know are having babies and other half are too busy trying to find their phone to take a selfie. So my plans mostly remain in my head and when I do go out I tend to drink just enough to make me dance but sober enough to realize I am making a monkey of myself .
I am writing this while I am sober which to me is another of those ironies of life. But then, you only know the value of something when you let it go, thus realizing whether it was worth holding on to it all this while. Alcohol is certainly one of those things which I would miss and so I raise my imaginary glass to toast our friendship. Cheers!!
The honesty of your stories always amaze & amuse me. Can't wait for the next one!
ReplyDeleteTrue :)
DeleteTrue :)
DeleteCool one.....but did you censor some stories...I m sure u hv wackier stuff to tell ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is one of those incidents where you are counted as smart when you tell less than what you know
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